Remember, Easter is not about the big bunny - or the chocolate(!)
It's about Jesus dying for us - for you and for me, and rising from the grave, so that we can live for eternity!! Hallelujah!
For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not die but have eternal life.
John 3:16
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Blessings we may not recognise...
1. If you own a Bible, you are abundantly blessed - about 1/3 of the world does not have access to one.
2. If you wake up each morning with more health than illness, you are blessed to rise and shine, to live and to serve in a new day.
3. If you have anyone on the planet, just one person that loves you and listens to you; count this as a blessing.
4. If you can freely attend a church meeting without fear, then you are more blessed than over 1/3 of the world.
5. If you have a yearning in your heart to parent a child, you are blessed because you still desire what you cannot see.
6. If you pray today or any day, you are blessed because you believe in God's willingness to hear your prayer.
7. If you pray for someone else, you are blessed because you want to help others also.
8. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep; all at the same time; you are rich in this world.
9. If you have a brother or sister in Christ that will pray with you and for you, you benefit from a spiritual unity, bond, and agreement, which the gates of hell cannot stand against.
10. If you have any earthly family that even halfway loves you and supports you, you are blessed beyond measure.
11. If you attend a church with a church family that offers you one word of encouragement, you are blessed with some form of fellowship.
12. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, or some spare change in a dish someplace you are among the world's wealthy.
13. If you can go to bed each night, knowing that God loves you, you are blessed beyond measure.
14. If you try each day to imitate our Lord Jesus Christ for even a minute, you are blessed because you show a willingness to grow up in Him.
15. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than about 1/3 of the world who cannot read at all.
16. If you have never had to endure the hardship and agony of battle, imprisonment, or torture, you are blessed in indescribable measure.
17. If you have a voice to sing His praises, a voice to witness God's love, and a voice to share the gospel, you are blessed. About 1/3 of the world do not even know who the one true God is.
18. If you can hold someone's hand, hug another person, touch someone on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
19. If you can share a word of encouragement with someone else, and do it with His love in your heart, you are blessed because you have learned how to give.
20. If you have the conviction to stand fast upon His Word and His promises, no matter what, you are blessed because you are learning patience, endurance, and tenacity.
21. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because most people can, but many will not.
May God bless you!
Author Unknown
2. If you wake up each morning with more health than illness, you are blessed to rise and shine, to live and to serve in a new day.
3. If you have anyone on the planet, just one person that loves you and listens to you; count this as a blessing.
4. If you can freely attend a church meeting without fear, then you are more blessed than over 1/3 of the world.
5. If you have a yearning in your heart to parent a child, you are blessed because you still desire what you cannot see.
6. If you pray today or any day, you are blessed because you believe in God's willingness to hear your prayer.
7. If you pray for someone else, you are blessed because you want to help others also.
8. If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, and a place to sleep; all at the same time; you are rich in this world.
9. If you have a brother or sister in Christ that will pray with you and for you, you benefit from a spiritual unity, bond, and agreement, which the gates of hell cannot stand against.
10. If you have any earthly family that even halfway loves you and supports you, you are blessed beyond measure.
11. If you attend a church with a church family that offers you one word of encouragement, you are blessed with some form of fellowship.
12. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, or some spare change in a dish someplace you are among the world's wealthy.
13. If you can go to bed each night, knowing that God loves you, you are blessed beyond measure.
14. If you try each day to imitate our Lord Jesus Christ for even a minute, you are blessed because you show a willingness to grow up in Him.
15. If you can read this message, you are more blessed than about 1/3 of the world who cannot read at all.
16. If you have never had to endure the hardship and agony of battle, imprisonment, or torture, you are blessed in indescribable measure.
17. If you have a voice to sing His praises, a voice to witness God's love, and a voice to share the gospel, you are blessed. About 1/3 of the world do not even know who the one true God is.
18. If you can hold someone's hand, hug another person, touch someone on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
19. If you can share a word of encouragement with someone else, and do it with His love in your heart, you are blessed because you have learned how to give.
20. If you have the conviction to stand fast upon His Word and His promises, no matter what, you are blessed because you are learning patience, endurance, and tenacity.
21. If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because most people can, but many will not.
May God bless you!
Author Unknown
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
15 Questions God Won't Ask
1. God won't ask what kind of car you drove, but will ask how many people you drove who didn't have transportation.
2. God won't ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your house.
3. God won't ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
4. God won't ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
5. God won't ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
6. God won't ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
7. God won't ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
8. God won't ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
9. God won't ask what your job title was, but will ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
10. God won't ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
11. God won't ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
12. God won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
13. God won't ask in what neighbourhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbours.
14. God won't ask about the colour of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
15. God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn't.
2. God won't ask the square footage of your house, but will ask how many people you welcomed into your house.
3. God won't ask about the fancy clothes you had in your closet, but will ask how many of those clothes helped the needy.
4. God won't ask about your social status, but will ask what kind of class you displayed.
5. God won't ask how many material possessions you had, but will ask if they dictated your life.
6. God won't ask what your highest salary was, but will ask if you compromised your character to obtain that salary.
7. God won't ask how much overtime you worked, but will ask if you worked overtime for your family and loved ones.
8. God won't ask how many promotions you received, but will ask how you promoted others.
9. God won't ask what your job title was, but will ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
10. God won't ask what you did to help yourself, but will ask what you did to help others.
11. God won't ask how many friends you had, but will ask how many people to whom you were a true friend.
12. God won't ask what you did to protect your rights, but will ask what you did to protect the rights of others.
13. God won't ask in what neighbourhood you lived, but will ask how you treated your neighbours.
14. God won't ask about the colour of your skin, but will ask about the content of your character.
15. God won't ask how many times your deeds matched your words, but will ask how many times they didn't.
Suffering from PHT!
Yes, PHT - NOT PMT!!!
So, what is PHT you ask? Well, according to MetroPlus which I was reading on Monday evening - it's Pre-Holiday Tension! It occurs when you're going away, and you know you have loads of work to finish before you go - so instead of winding down, you usually spend an average of seven hours extra in the office the week before you leave!
For those who read last Wednesday's post - you'll be pleased to know, that I had another white chocolate chip cookie (have you tried one yet?) and then went to church at lunchtime today! I realise that this has now been two weeks in a row - and usually happens on Wednesdays! Anyway - I can safely say that I will be doing something completely different next Wednesday!
I had to smile yesterday, when a friend said that last week's post (entitled 'Stressed!!!!!!') really encouraged them - because it showed that I'm normal!!! Well, maybe I should just clarify here, that yes, I'm normal (well, as normal as I'll ever be!!), life is not always perfect for me (is it for anyone?), and yes, I can get tired, stressed and hassled like every one of you reading this now (and if you don't - please tell me your secret)!
Anyway - I'm just thankful that God is perfect - and He never gets tired, stressed or hassled - and loves us with an eternal love!
Better go and finish that work now........
So, what is PHT you ask? Well, according to MetroPlus which I was reading on Monday evening - it's Pre-Holiday Tension! It occurs when you're going away, and you know you have loads of work to finish before you go - so instead of winding down, you usually spend an average of seven hours extra in the office the week before you leave!
For those who read last Wednesday's post - you'll be pleased to know, that I had another white chocolate chip cookie (have you tried one yet?) and then went to church at lunchtime today! I realise that this has now been two weeks in a row - and usually happens on Wednesdays! Anyway - I can safely say that I will be doing something completely different next Wednesday!
I had to smile yesterday, when a friend said that last week's post (entitled 'Stressed!!!!!!') really encouraged them - because it showed that I'm normal!!! Well, maybe I should just clarify here, that yes, I'm normal (well, as normal as I'll ever be!!), life is not always perfect for me (is it for anyone?), and yes, I can get tired, stressed and hassled like every one of you reading this now (and if you don't - please tell me your secret)!
Anyway - I'm just thankful that God is perfect - and He never gets tired, stressed or hassled - and loves us with an eternal love!
Better go and finish that work now........
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Personal Testimony - God's Provision
Whilst chatting to a friend the other day, I was talking about sharing some more 'personal' blogs, so I thought I'd start with this testimony (especially as I have 'mission' on my heart at the moment!):
In July 2000, I found myself in Birmingham at the CfaN (Reinhard Bonnke) Fire Conference.
Anyway, whilst there - in the majority of meetings, they showed a short clip of some of the crusades in Africa.
Now I'm not a person that cries a lot (I didn't say I never cry) - I just think life is too exciting! However, every time I saw the videos, tears fell down my face (which was very unusual for me) - and I had to ask "Lord - what are you doing?" During the conference, they invited people to join them in November that year, for the largest crusade ever - in Lagos, Nigeria. So, I picked up a leaflet, took it home, and said to my Pastor "I think I'm meant to go to Nigeria! - but if I'm going, I want to go debt free." I didn't know how/why etc - I just KNEW that I was supposed to go - and somehow believed God for £1,500.
A couple of weeks later (before I'd even sent off the form) - I received a cheque through the internal mail at work - for £500 towards the cost of the trip (as I was going with a Registered Charity etc - and we had a Charity fund at work, which helped individuals with some things like this)! This amazed me (and my Boss at the time)....and before long, I had loads of people (a lot of non-Christians too) coming up to me, and giving me money towards my trip!
Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't trust God for the money - but I'd never had this kind of experience before. I've always believed in tithing and giving - but this was the first time that (financially) I saw provision like this in my own life.
A week before I was due to go, I was £100 short of the £1,500 - but, I thought in comparison '£100 isn't that much really'. So, I was amazed when someone put a cheque in the Church offering (made out specifically for 'Penny's Nigeria trip') which not only covered the balance, but also the injections etc - and all the other 'little' things that went with it.
So - in November 2000, I went with 20 or so other like-minded individuals, to Lagos, Nigeria. What I experienced there, was something truly awesome. A field (75 acres) filled with 1.6 million people - who had all come to hear the gospel. Then, in the mornings, the Fire Conference was held - with 80,000 Pastors and Church Leaders filling the Lagos Stadium.
Words will never really be able to describe what it was like to be there. To watch a short video clip, click here.
In July 2000, I found myself in Birmingham at the CfaN (Reinhard Bonnke) Fire Conference.
Anyway, whilst there - in the majority of meetings, they showed a short clip of some of the crusades in Africa.
Now I'm not a person that cries a lot (I didn't say I never cry) - I just think life is too exciting! However, every time I saw the videos, tears fell down my face (which was very unusual for me) - and I had to ask "Lord - what are you doing?" During the conference, they invited people to join them in November that year, for the largest crusade ever - in Lagos, Nigeria. So, I picked up a leaflet, took it home, and said to my Pastor "I think I'm meant to go to Nigeria! - but if I'm going, I want to go debt free." I didn't know how/why etc - I just KNEW that I was supposed to go - and somehow believed God for £1,500.
A couple of weeks later (before I'd even sent off the form) - I received a cheque through the internal mail at work - for £500 towards the cost of the trip (as I was going with a Registered Charity etc - and we had a Charity fund at work, which helped individuals with some things like this)! This amazed me (and my Boss at the time)....and before long, I had loads of people (a lot of non-Christians too) coming up to me, and giving me money towards my trip!
Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I didn't trust God for the money - but I'd never had this kind of experience before. I've always believed in tithing and giving - but this was the first time that (financially) I saw provision like this in my own life.
A week before I was due to go, I was £100 short of the £1,500 - but, I thought in comparison '£100 isn't that much really'. So, I was amazed when someone put a cheque in the Church offering (made out specifically for 'Penny's Nigeria trip') which not only covered the balance, but also the injections etc - and all the other 'little' things that went with it.
So - in November 2000, I went with 20 or so other like-minded individuals, to Lagos, Nigeria. What I experienced there, was something truly awesome. A field (75 acres) filled with 1.6 million people - who had all come to hear the gospel. Then, in the mornings, the Fire Conference was held - with 80,000 Pastors and Church Leaders filling the Lagos Stadium.
Words will never really be able to describe what it was like to be there. To watch a short video clip, click here.
Monday, March 21, 2005
God's Embroidery
When I was little, my mother used to sew a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering.
As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat.
She would smile at me, look down and gently say, "Son, you go about your playing for a while, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side."
I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother's voice say, "Son, come and sit on my knee."
This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower, or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy.
Then Mother would say to me, "My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realise that there was a plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing."
Many times through the years I have looked up to heaven and said, "Father, what are You doing?"
He has answered, "I am embroidering your life."
I say, "But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can't they all be bright?"
The Father seems to tell me, "'My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from My side."
As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little round hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat.
She would smile at me, look down and gently say, "Son, you go about your playing for a while, and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side."
I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view. A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother's voice say, "Son, come and sit on my knee."
This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower, or a sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy.
Then Mother would say to me, "My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realise that there was a plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing."
Many times through the years I have looked up to heaven and said, "Father, what are You doing?"
He has answered, "I am embroidering your life."
I say, "But it looks like a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can't they all be bright?"
The Father seems to tell me, "'My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on My knee and you will see the plan from My side."
Friday, March 18, 2005
If you were stranded on an island, what 3 things would you want to have with you? Why?
Ok, my three would be:
1. Bible - coz it goes everywhere with me, and is my instruction book for life!
2. Piano - so I could 'make a joyful noise' - or something like that....
3. Pink lipstick! Why not?
What three things would you have with you??
Answers in the comments section please.....
1. Bible - coz it goes everywhere with me, and is my instruction book for life!
2. Piano - so I could 'make a joyful noise' - or something like that....
3. Pink lipstick! Why not?
What three things would you have with you??
Answers in the comments section please.....
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Favourite Hymns
The Dentist's Hymn..................Crown Him With Many Crowns
The Weatherman's Hymn..........There shall be showers of Blessing
The Contractor's Hymn..............The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.....................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn....................There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn.................Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn............Open My Eyes That I might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn...............I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn....................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn...............Send the Light
The Shopper's Hymn..................Sweet By and By
Now, for those who speed on the roads - a few hymns for you:
45 mph...................God Will Take Care of You
55 mph...................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph...................Nearer My God to Thee
75 mph...................Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph...................This World Is Not My Home
95 mph...................Lord, I'm Coming Home
and over 100 mph....Precious Memories
The Weatherman's Hymn..........There shall be showers of Blessing
The Contractor's Hymn..............The Church's One Foundation
The Tailor's Hymn.....................Holy, Holy, Holy
The Golfer's Hymn....................There is A Green Hill Far Away
The Politician's Hymn.................Standing on the Promises
The Optometrist's Hymn............Open My Eyes That I might See
The IRS Agent's Hymn...............I Surrender All
The Gossip's Hymn....................Pass It On
The Electrician's Hymn...............Send the Light
The Shopper's Hymn..................Sweet By and By
Now, for those who speed on the roads - a few hymns for you:
45 mph...................God Will Take Care of You
55 mph...................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65 mph...................Nearer My God to Thee
75 mph...................Nearer Still Nearer
85 mph...................This World Is Not My Home
95 mph...................Lord, I'm Coming Home
and over 100 mph....Precious Memories
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Stressed!!!!!!!
Yep - today (and yesterday) were very stressful! I coped by eating 95% of a box of chocolates yesterday, the remaining 5% today, together with a white chocolate cookie from M&S (if you haven't tried one - you don't know what you're missing!) What was I stressed about you ask? Well.....just a lot of hassle to sort out, due to a last minute cancelled flight! This has now meant changing airport, carrier, paying twice (for now) etc - but I just got 'stressed' over it....
Anyway, at lunchtime, I decided to take refuge in the lunchtime church service near my office. The message today was from Habakkuk:
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
I like that - Habakkuk's prayer - 'yet I will rejoice in the Lord'. Well....it just made me smile, and definitely helped me get a perspective on things! Is it just me, or does it happen to you as well - when things aren't going quite 'to plan' sometimes it can be hard to praise God, or see beyond 'the problem'? ....but sometimes we just have to praise God anyway - and when we do, not only do we feel better, but the problem doesn't seem as huge either!
In the end, we were all able to re-book our flights etc, so it wasn't really a major problem. It was only on the train going home, that I read in the paper that the baggage handlers at the original airport, have planned to strike on the day we were supposed to be flying out.
Maybe there was a reason for all this!!
Anyway, I really must learn to:
* 'Chill' a bit more
* Trust God more!
* Eat less chocolate when stressed
* Oh, and 'rejoice in the Lord' whatever is happening!
Anyway, at lunchtime, I decided to take refuge in the lunchtime church service near my office. The message today was from Habakkuk:
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Saviour.
Habakkuk 3:17-18
I like that - Habakkuk's prayer - 'yet I will rejoice in the Lord'. Well....it just made me smile, and definitely helped me get a perspective on things! Is it just me, or does it happen to you as well - when things aren't going quite 'to plan' sometimes it can be hard to praise God, or see beyond 'the problem'? ....but sometimes we just have to praise God anyway - and when we do, not only do we feel better, but the problem doesn't seem as huge either!
In the end, we were all able to re-book our flights etc, so it wasn't really a major problem. It was only on the train going home, that I read in the paper that the baggage handlers at the original airport, have planned to strike on the day we were supposed to be flying out.
Maybe there was a reason for all this!!
Anyway, I really must learn to:
* 'Chill' a bit more
* Trust God more!
* Eat less chocolate when stressed
* Oh, and 'rejoice in the Lord' whatever is happening!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Come, let us sing to the LORD; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into His presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to Him with songs of praise! For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In His hand are the depths of the earth; the heights of the mountains are His also.
Psalm 95:1-4
Monday, March 14, 2005
I didn't break a leg....
Although I did have a few impressive and entertaining falls/crashes - but I guess that's what happens when you try something new .....for skiers - read that as: a black mogul field. For non-skiers - read that as: attempting to ski down a steep mountain too fast, over moguls (horrible bumps in the snow) whilst on a piste reserved for 'good skiers only'! Nuff said.......
Thanks to John F for top ski tips:
1. Ski tan is guaranteed in seconds at 60 mph, down 45 degree slope into a 50 knot wind.
2. Don't forget, 'Benzenees'.
I have a great ski tan (red face and white eyes), but won't be posting any pictures on here for you all to laugh at! (Unless of course, someone offers to pay me HUGE sums of money.....then I'd be up for negotiation!) :-)
My little blonde brain has had a busy day, learning about databases, servers, coding etc, and trying to work out the keys on a French keyboard - so I think it's an early night for me tonight.....
Bonne nuit!
Pen x
Thanks to John F for top ski tips:
1. Ski tan is guaranteed in seconds at 60 mph, down 45 degree slope into a 50 knot wind.
2. Don't forget, 'Benzenees'.
I have a great ski tan (red face and white eyes), but won't be posting any pictures on here for you all to laugh at! (Unless of course, someone offers to pay me HUGE sums of money.....then I'd be up for negotiation!) :-)
My little blonde brain has had a busy day, learning about databases, servers, coding etc, and trying to work out the keys on a French keyboard - so I think it's an early night for me tonight.....
Bonne nuit!
Pen x
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
One last post....
Sorry, couldn't go away without passing this thought on:
Preach Christ.
Use words if you must.
St Francis of Assisi
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16
Preach Christ.
Use words if you must.
St Francis of Assisi
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16
I'm off!
Well, temporarily...... tomorrow morning I leave for Paris, to meet up with my work colleagues, then we're heading off to the French Alps for a couple of days' skiing, and then I'll be working from our French office on Monday. Ah, I know it's tough, but someone's gotta do it!! Don't worry - I WILL be working, and if it makes you all feel better, it's MINUS 18C at the moment - so I'll be praying for the fire! :-)
What does this mean for you? Well, there won't be any blog posts for a couple of days (I've been good though - extra posts today!!) secondly, I won't be in church on Sunday - so will miss you all!
Better go and start practicing my French now....
Au revoir!
Pen x
PS - I hope to have at least one piece of cheesecake waiting for me upon my return! :-)
What does this mean for you? Well, there won't be any blog posts for a couple of days (I've been good though - extra posts today!!) secondly, I won't be in church on Sunday - so will miss you all!
Better go and start practicing my French now....
Au revoir!
Pen x
PS - I hope to have at least one piece of cheesecake waiting for me upon my return! :-)
There is a day...
There is a day that all creation's waiting for,
A day of freedom and liberation for the earth.
And on that day, the Lord will come to meet His bride.
And when we see Him, in an instant we'll be changed.
The trumpet sounds and the dead will then be raised,
By His power, never to perish again.
Once only flesh, now clothed with immortality;
Death has now been swallowed up in victory.
We will meet Him in the air
and then we will be like Him,
for we will see Him as He is, oh yeah!
Then all hurt and pain will cease,
and we'll be with Him forever,
and in His glory we will live.
Oh yeah, oh yeah!
So lift your eyes, to the things as yet unseen,
That will remain now for all eternity.
Though trouble's hard, it's only momentary.
And it's achieving our future glory.
2001 phatfish
Want to hear the song? Track 6
A day of freedom and liberation for the earth.
And on that day, the Lord will come to meet His bride.
And when we see Him, in an instant we'll be changed.
The trumpet sounds and the dead will then be raised,
By His power, never to perish again.
Once only flesh, now clothed with immortality;
Death has now been swallowed up in victory.
We will meet Him in the air
and then we will be like Him,
for we will see Him as He is, oh yeah!
Then all hurt and pain will cease,
and we'll be with Him forever,
and in His glory we will live.
Oh yeah, oh yeah!
So lift your eyes, to the things as yet unseen,
That will remain now for all eternity.
Though trouble's hard, it's only momentary.
And it's achieving our future glory.
2001 phatfish
Want to hear the song? Track 6
Divert your course...
This is the transcript of the actual radio conversation of a US Naval ship with the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in Oct 1995.
Radio conversation released by chief of naval operations 10/10/95.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No. I say again, divert your course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second biggest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
Radio conversation released by chief of naval operations 10/10/95.
Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.
Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the captain of a US navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
Canadians: No. I say again, divert your course.
Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second biggest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.
Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
The Lord is My Shepherd
I went to church at lunchtime - great encouragement from Habbakuk today. Sometimes, we might face impossible situations and not know what to do or where to turn - but God can turn seemingly 'impossible' situations around, when we bring them to Him.
We sang this song - and the words really blessed me, so I thought I'd share it here. It's not the traditional hymn - more a 'celtic' version which you may or may not be familiar with. Anyway - it was a great song to sing, and as I sung it, I was thinking about several prayer requests which have been on my heart today......
The Lord’s my shepherd, I’ll not want
He makes me lie in pastures green
He leads me by the still, still waters
His goodness restores my soul
Chorus:
And I will trust in You alone.
And I will trust in You alone,
for Your endless mercy follows me,
Your goodness will lead me home.
He guides my ways in righteousness,
And He anoints my head with oil,
And my cup, it overflows with joy,
I feast on His pure delights.
And though I walk the darkest path
I will not fear the evil one
For You are with me, and Your rod and staff
Are the comfort I need to know.
We sang this song - and the words really blessed me, so I thought I'd share it here. It's not the traditional hymn - more a 'celtic' version which you may or may not be familiar with. Anyway - it was a great song to sing, and as I sung it, I was thinking about several prayer requests which have been on my heart today......
The Lord’s my shepherd, I’ll not want
He makes me lie in pastures green
He leads me by the still, still waters
His goodness restores my soul
Chorus:
And I will trust in You alone.
And I will trust in You alone,
for Your endless mercy follows me,
Your goodness will lead me home.
He guides my ways in righteousness,
And He anoints my head with oil,
And my cup, it overflows with joy,
I feast on His pure delights.
And though I walk the darkest path
I will not fear the evil one
For You are with me, and Your rod and staff
Are the comfort I need to know.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Lemon Crunch Cheesecake
Preparation time: 20 mins, plus chilling
694 cals per serving (who wants to know that?!)
Serves 6 (personally, if you could eat 1/6th of it - you deserve a prize!)
Oil for greasing
175g (6oz) ginger or lemon crunch biscuits (ginger ones are best!)
75g (3oz) toasted almonds (optional)
50g (2oz) melted butter
4 large lemons
Two 397g cans condensed milk
600ml (1 pint) double cream
Caramelised lemon to decorate (optional)
1. Lightly brush an 18-20.5cm (7-8in) spring release tin with oil, and base - line with baking parchment. Alternatively, oil a similar sized deep flan ring; place on an oiled baking sheet.
2. Process biscuits and almonds together for about 1 min or until roughly chopped. Mix together with the butter. Press the mixture into the base of the tin and chill for at least 30min.
3. Meanwhile, grate the rind and squeeze the juice of the lemons - there should be about 200ml (7fl oz) juice. Pour the condensed milk into a bowl and stir in the cream. Stirring constantly, add the rind and juice a little at a time (the mixture will thicken dramatically). Pour over the biscuit base and refrigerate overnight to set.
4. Decorate with caramelised lemon slices.
To prepare ahead: Complete the recipe and keep in the fridge for up to three days.
To freeze ahead: Pack and freeze at the end of step 3. Thaw at room temperature for 4hr, then chill again for at least 15min before serving.
To make caramelised lemon: Place two thinly sliced lemons in a shallow saucepan with 300ml (1/2 pint) water and 50g (2oz) caster sugar. Slowly bring to the boil and bubble until the liquid caramelises around the slices. Cool before using.
It is very easy to make. It will feel strange that you are adding a liquid (lemon juice) to a mixture that already seems too runny. Don't panic - it does work. It is important that there is ENOUGH lemon juice. Don't rely on the number of lemons - you need to measure the amount of lemon juice. Have fun and enjoy! :-)
Monday, March 07, 2005
Important Lessons
The Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear. But none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear. But none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been.
The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand. Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
During my second month of nursing school, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"
Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank.
Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say 'hello'." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.
Awesome Weekend!
Wow - what an awesome weekend!! I think my car has been on 'auto pilot' to and from church over the weekend - but it's been fantastic! Kevin & Margaret ministered in the Spirit - and there was a real sense of God's presence all weekend! God just touched peoples lives and hearts - fantastic.....
You know something's up, when your usual Sunday evening service finishes an hour or so later than usual. It took me ages to get to sleep last night - it was all just TOO exciting!! :-)
Big thanks to the worship team (that includes PA & video) last night - it's always such a blessing working with you guys!! :-)
It's hard to describe what it felt like to stop playing the keyboard, and just to listen to the congregation sing 'I stand amazed in the presence' (whilst standing IN His presence) - truly amazing.
I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.
How marvellous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
How marvellous! O how wonderful!
Is my Saviour’s love for me!
For me it was in the garden
He prayed: "Not My will, but Thine."
He had no tears for His own griefs,
But sweat drops of blood for mine.
In pity angels beheld Him,
And came from the world of light
To comfort Him in the sorrows
He bore for my soul that night.
He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.
Take time this week to stand, or just 'be' in HIS Presence.
I stand, I stand in awe of You.
I stand, I stand in awe of You.
Holy God, to whom all praise is due,
I stand in awe of You.
Friday, March 04, 2005
Purpose Driven Life
Well....we're half-way through! Day 20 today....so much for my 'daily PDL blog post' which I was hoping/planning to do! Well done to Sarah - who's kept up day by day!
I shared one particular thought last night at Youth Plus - and that was about how much the book has made me think about 'life' in general. Don't worry - I'm not about to get all 'philosophical' BUT.....this isn't our home! One day we will GO home! I don't know about you, but for me, it's good to get everything in 'perspective' sometimes (often easier said than done)!
I realised something needed to change, when I read a chapter FOUR times the other night, and was still too tired to understand it properly! So, the book now travels with me.....
I imagined, that I would sit (quietly) - probably mid-morning, in a nice armchair, with a cup of coffee (probably a biscuit too) and a cat on my lap - and read the book (picture the scene!). In reality, I sit on a packed train with hundreds of other commuters - and read at some unearthly hour of the morning! I'm just waiting for someone next to me, to ask what I'm reading!
I'll attempt to post some 'deep thoughts'!?! soonish.....until then.....
We've got Kevin & Margaret Peat ministering at church over the weekend. Ladies prayer breakfast tomorrow morning (8.30am) for all early risers!! Evening Celebration 7.30pm, and Sunday, morning and evening services. If you're reading this - why don't you try and make it? C u there! :-)
Have a fab w/end, and keep smiling! :-)
Pen x
I shared one particular thought last night at Youth Plus - and that was about how much the book has made me think about 'life' in general. Don't worry - I'm not about to get all 'philosophical' BUT.....this isn't our home! One day we will GO home! I don't know about you, but for me, it's good to get everything in 'perspective' sometimes (often easier said than done)!
I realised something needed to change, when I read a chapter FOUR times the other night, and was still too tired to understand it properly! So, the book now travels with me.....
I imagined, that I would sit (quietly) - probably mid-morning, in a nice armchair, with a cup of coffee (probably a biscuit too) and a cat on my lap - and read the book (picture the scene!). In reality, I sit on a packed train with hundreds of other commuters - and read at some unearthly hour of the morning! I'm just waiting for someone next to me, to ask what I'm reading!
I'll attempt to post some 'deep thoughts'!?! soonish.....until then.....
We've got Kevin & Margaret Peat ministering at church over the weekend. Ladies prayer breakfast tomorrow morning (8.30am) for all early risers!! Evening Celebration 7.30pm, and Sunday, morning and evening services. If you're reading this - why don't you try and make it? C u there! :-)
Have a fab w/end, and keep smiling! :-)
Pen x
Something Valuable
To realise the value of one year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realise the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of one hour: Ask the couple who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realise the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realise the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no-one.
Treasure every moment you have.
To realise the value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of one hour: Ask the couple who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of one minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realise the value of one second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
To realise the value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no-one.
Treasure every moment you have.
WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ
(Passing requires 4 correct answers)
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?
All done? Check your answers below!
ANSWERS
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
*116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
*Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
*Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
*November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
*Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
*Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?
*Albert
8) What colour is a purple finch?
*Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
*New Zealand
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?
*Orange, of course.
What do you mean you failed?!
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get catgut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What colour is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?
All done? Check your answers below!
ANSWERS
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
*116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
*Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
*Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
*November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
*Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
*Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?
*Albert
8) What colour is a purple finch?
*Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
*New Zealand
10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?
*Orange, of course.
What do you mean you failed?!
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
Things aren't always as they seem.....
Anyone notice anything unusual about the cow the other day? Things aren't always as they seem.....
Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel: "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him". "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust the outcome.....
Things aren't always what they seem....
Author Unknown
Two travelling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement.
As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest.
When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.
The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel: "How could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him". "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die."
"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it."
"Then last night as we slept in the farmer's bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."
Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things don't turn out the way they should. If you have faith, you just need to trust the outcome.....
Things aren't always what they seem....
Author Unknown
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Views on Ageing...
A friend sent this to me on e-mail...it's not particularly 'spiritual' but I thought you might like to see it anyway:
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out non essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them".
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: if it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the shops, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day.
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . . . and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out non essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them".
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: if it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the shops, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone. We all need to live life to its fullest each day.
Jesus is watching you!
The burglar was creeping noiselessly through the darkened home, filling his bag with various valuables. As he reached his hand out to a grab a box of jewelry, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Shaken, the burglar stopped. For a full minute he didn't dare breathe. Finally, he switched on his flashlight and carefully played it around the room, but there was nothing. Convinced that it must have been his imagination, he turned off the flashlight and continued in his quest for another man's wealth. He was busily unhooking a stereo set when he again heard, "Jesus is watching you."
This time he nearly jumped out of his skin, he was so freaked out. Beads of sweat popped out on his face, and as he switched the light on again, the beam shook violently from his terror. He looked about the room, and noticed a birdcage in the corner. Upon closer inspection, he discovered a parrot in the cage. "Are you the one that spoke to me just now?" asked the burglar.
"Yes, I am," said the parrot.
"Why did you say 'Jesus is watching you?'" asked the man.
"Because I felt like you needed to be warned," replied the parrot.
By this time, the man was over his fright and was more than a little irritated at this smart-mouthed parrot that had tried to scare the living daylights out of him. "What's your name?" asked the burglar.
"Moses," the parrot said.
"Ha," the man laughed. "What kind of people would name their parrot Moses?"
The parrot exclaimed, "The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus."
Shaken, the burglar stopped. For a full minute he didn't dare breathe. Finally, he switched on his flashlight and carefully played it around the room, but there was nothing. Convinced that it must have been his imagination, he turned off the flashlight and continued in his quest for another man's wealth. He was busily unhooking a stereo set when he again heard, "Jesus is watching you."
This time he nearly jumped out of his skin, he was so freaked out. Beads of sweat popped out on his face, and as he switched the light on again, the beam shook violently from his terror. He looked about the room, and noticed a birdcage in the corner. Upon closer inspection, he discovered a parrot in the cage. "Are you the one that spoke to me just now?" asked the burglar.
"Yes, I am," said the parrot.
"Why did you say 'Jesus is watching you?'" asked the man.
"Because I felt like you needed to be warned," replied the parrot.
By this time, the man was over his fright and was more than a little irritated at this smart-mouthed parrot that had tried to scare the living daylights out of him. "What's your name?" asked the burglar.
"Moses," the parrot said.
"Ha," the man laughed. "What kind of people would name their parrot Moses?"
The parrot exclaimed, "The same kind of people that would name their Rottweiler Jesus."
