Good News: You baptised seven people today in the river
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote it
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position
Good News: Mrs Jones is wild about your sermons
Bad News: Mrs Jones is also wild about "Texas Chain Saw Massacre" and "Howard Stern"
Good News: Your ladies football team finally won a game
Bad News: They beat your mens football team
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks
Bad News: You were on vacation
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