Last night the Elim band (led by Carolyn) were at Chelmsford Cathedral leading worship for the latest CADEF meeting. Silly me forgot the digi camera - so here's a dodgy shot from my phone!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Blonde Joke #5,243,147
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch" the man said. "How much will you pay?" asked the blonde - "How about £50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband "Does she realise that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered," and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the £50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari..."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered," and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the £50.
"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari..."
Yesterday....
...was interesting! We had a power cut at work, which meant that I spent the morning working in Starbucks (with a muffin and a latte, of course!) I also then visited again in the afternoon, and again this morning (even though our power is now back).
So....there you go! Just thought you'd all like to know how I spent my Monday morning! How did you spend yours? Answers on a postcard.....(or post a comment!)
So....there you go! Just thought you'd all like to know how I spent my Monday morning! How did you spend yours? Answers on a postcard.....(or post a comment!)
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Saturday, October 02, 2004
Friday, October 01, 2004
Blonde Moment #3,792
Well....last night I walked to the Station car park (right to the FAR END, I might add) – then looked for my car, and realised it wasn’t there(!) Oh yes, another classic blonde moment....I hadn’t even parked IN the Station car park!!! – but actually parked in my usual spot, and had completely forgotton! Maybe this is a sign of early dementia....let’s hope (and pray!) that it isn’t!!
I'd better go.....I've got to start remembering where I parked this morning.....
I'd better go.....I've got to start remembering where I parked this morning.....
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Excuses For Sleeping At Your Desk:
1. "It's okay...I'm still billing the client."
2. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
3. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
4. "I was working smarter, not harder."
5. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the tippex."
6. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
7. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
8. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
9. "I'm in the management training program."
10. "I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
13. "The coffee machine is broke...."
14. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
15. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
16. "I was cross-training for telecommuting. Next, I watch the Waltons."
17. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
18. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands."
19. "I thought you [boss] were gone for the day."
And the best thing to say, if found sleeping at your desk:
20. "In Jesus' Name, Amen."
2. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
3. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
4. "I was working smarter, not harder."
5. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the tippex."
6. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
7. "This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!"
8. "I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance."
9. "I'm in the management training program."
10. "I'm actually doing a 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend."
11. "This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!"
12. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
13. "The coffee machine is broke...."
14. "Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
15. "Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
16. "I was cross-training for telecommuting. Next, I watch the Waltons."
17. "Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
18. "I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lenses without using my hands."
19. "I thought you [boss] were gone for the day."
And the best thing to say, if found sleeping at your desk:
20. "In Jesus' Name, Amen."
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
21 Reasons Why The English Language Is Hard To Learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
